Happy BS Day every one!
Wait, back-track…
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for the encouraging comments on my TMI Post. I am going to respond to EACH ONE OF YOU individually. But it might take me a few days.
Today I realized what day it was (March 14th), and thought “no way I can post about this….that’s too much freakin’ whining for one week.”
But…just bare with me….I think it will be worth it. (have I ever let you down?)
Last year….if you were around…I let you in on a little secret about March 14th. (if you want the exact details the post is HERE. Skip to the end part.)
Essentially…March 14th is the anniversary of a plane crash that killed my Dad and his business partners in 1985. I was almost 8 years old at the time.
It’s an anniversary I wish we didn’t have. And I pretty much hate it every year. And it should get easier. But oddly….I just get more and more kind of….I dunno….miffed every year?
Our little family was just so “fine” at the time. In fact this picture is missing my amazing little sister, who was born after he died. (nothing like “Mam, your husband just died, it’s not uncommon for stress to cause a woman to miss her period.” Ummmm…..it’s also common for a baby to do that, doctor. Just sayin’.)
This morning, I was texting back and forth with my siblings. And decided that I just felt like blaming stuff on other people. Namely, my Dad, ’cause he ‘aint here to defend himself.
(Oh…Ps…this is the part where I tell you that in case you haven’t noticed…I enjoy dealing with stressful situations by being snarky and making fun of them. It’s not irreverent, it’s therapy. And it makes life more bearable)
So, it’s kind of fun to blame random messes on my Dad. Or stuff that breaks. Or today I was mad at him for giving me wiry hair. And my sister was mad at him for giving us the need to eat our feelings. He was a sugar baby too.
I said let’s just “Blame Someone”. Let’s just blame Dad for everything. We can call it BS.
Well, then, obviously the irony of that hit. This IS BS!
- It’s BS that we had to grow up without a Dad.
- It’s BS that my Mom lives alone
- It’s BS that my brothers had to learn to use tools by trial and error. LOTS AND LOTS of error.
- It’s BS that I’m scared of Men.
- It’s BS that my sister doesn’t even know what it’s like to have a father.
- It’s BS that people expect me to leave ugly flowers on his grave in May.
- It’s BS that songs about Dads make me ugly cry.
- It’s BS that I feel like I belong to the “Dead Dad” club. (although it does make me laugh sometimes)
- It’s BS that my kids don’t know their Grandpa.
- It’s BS that I had to learn how to make caramel by burning 1,136 batches first.
- It’s BS that he’s not here to make jokes about me pooping my pants. Because he would’ve loved that.
Essentially, the whole thing is BS.
I call BS!
And so, my collective family has deemed March 14th officially BS day.
So Happy BS Day!
Look I even have a card. If there’s a card, it’s an official holiday. (okay I made it for myself…but still)
Here’s my thought….
Having BS Day today has made this day SOOOO much more enjoyable. I’ve actually been laughing all day instead of crying. And even if I cried that’s okay. Because it’s BS Day.
- On BS Day you can feel any kind of feeling you want.
- On BS Day, any and all “eating of feelings” is both accepted and encouraged
- On BS Day, sugar is king.
- On BS Day, all your problems can be passed around to others, and they can take the blame. For 24 hours.
- On BS Day, PJ’s are acceptable. Though not required.
And yes, that’s my BS Day fare up there. A Diet Coke. Duh! My cute neighbors brought me treats. (you guys rock, by the way!) And yes, the mini-eggs are gone. I emptied those toot suite.
I think EVERYONE should celebrate BS day. BUT……Yours doesn’t have to be March 14th. Yours can be ONE DAY a year that is super hard for you to get through.
Find a friend that might need to celebrate their own BS Day…and help them celebrate.
(Yep, you can have the card. See? I’m looking out for YOU!)
Click on the arrow with a line under it…in the above window. Just press it, and the image file should download right to your computer! Easy Peezy!
You can then print the file anywhere you’d like. This file is sized at 8.5×11. It will not print optimally at a bigger size. (But you can print it at a smaller size if you’d like.)
As usual PLEASE follow the following rules for Less Cake {more frosting} printables:
- LCMF prinatables are for PERSONAL USE only. You may not re-sell, re-distribute, or claim them as your own.
- Please do not remove the watermark.
- If posting on the internet, you MUST post a link back to this website.
- Personalization, color changes, and other customizations are not available on freebie printables. They are offered “as-is”.
It’s a 5×7 foldable card on the paper. You can just run it through your home printer. Cut. Fold. Write an awesomely uplifting BS message….and give.
Or, my cute friend Amy suggested that you could write your “BS” on a paper and send it up in a balloon. Or send it to someone who understands. Just to kind of “get rid of it”. I thought those were great ideas!
The kicker is….you can only have it once or twice a year.
No wallowing in blame and sadness every single day.
It’s the keeping it to one day that makes it more “fun, effective, therapy” and less “self-pity and constant sorrow”.
After all, I KNOW my Dad wouldn’t want us to be living down here sad all the time. Or stunting our individual potential in order to honor his passing. He would want us to have fun, and grow, and excel. In his honor.
And we will for SURE make fun of him, and blame broken stuff on him, and blame him when all the mini-eggs are mysteriously eaten…..because dude….what’s he gonna do? Haunt me?
Shoot.
He TOTALLY could do that.
Now I’m slightly a feared.
Ah well.
Happy BS day to one and all!
This is awesome… I remember it was in Sunday school, with Ben, that I learned about Joe… I cried, because it made me sad to think he didn’t have a dad. I won’t forget that day, as neither will you and I love how you are doing it NOW!!! Your family has always been the cool family just so ya know!!!!
You’ve been pretty fetching inspiring lately — thanks for that!! I’ve been needing it
Holla
BS!! Not only are those my maiden name initials but the name to my new favorite holiday ever! BS!
I have been following your blog for a while, but never really read the words, just looked at the crafty pictures….that was until your TMI post. I laughed and cried for your post yesterday and for today’s post. You seriously have a great talent for writing, for putting words to paper and for getting those of us that read those words to acutally feel a tiny bit of what emotions you are putting out there. Thank you, thank you for sharing your thoughts & emotions, for sharing your poo story and your BS Day story! Oh and btw…I totally can eat one of those bags of mini-eggs (the big bag), down a 44 oz diet coke, and want more, so I LOVE your picture!
~Shar
Happy BS Day to you! I can’t imagine growing up without a Dad, but my father is in a similar situation. His father died in a plane crash in June 1952 and my Dad was born 7 months later in January 1953. He never met his father and since his mother did not remarry until two years after my Dad married, he never had a father in his life. He was fortunate to have a big brother who taught him the things that he knew, but my uncle had to learn things on his own too. Interestingly, my father has never been in an aircraft and refuses to ever fly.
I just thought I would share, as it doesn’t seem to be a common occurence, so it’s interesting when other people have similar experiences. I’ll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers today…may your BS day be the day you need it to be!
Thank you for making me smile with each of your posts. My dad died when I was sixteen and I can relate to SO much of what you are saying. I love this printable and will be sure to display it proudly every year for my “BS” day!
Hey, my husband got diagnosed with cancer when our daughter was 3 days old and died 2 1/2 years later. That was 4 years ago. So needless to say I am now dealing with a daughter who doesn’t have a dad and get teased at school because of it. She cries herself to sleep sometimes and it breaks my heart. It is hard for her to make gifts for her parents cuz she only has a mom so her dad gift she makes for her grandpa. I like the BS day idea! But it would have to be a BS day everyday since the diagnosis. No kid should have to grow up without a parent and I am sad to hear it doesn’t get any easier. I keep telling myself that it won’t hurt anymore but it always does. I wish you the best and wish you a very happy BS day!
BS day! Where have you been all my life!?! Talk about a holiday right up my ally! I may in fact mail you my BS list cause you know me and still love me and would let me emotionally throw up in your inbox and STILL love me! Happy BS Day beautiful!
I think BS day should be world wide! I also think anyone who is anyone should be able to know you. For your honesty, gorgeous spirit and unruly humor they could not help but love you. Happy BS DAY!!!
I love BS day Lara. I will be celebrating later this month on the anniversary of my dad’s death. I love you my friend!!!
xoxoxoxo
Jen
Thanks so much for posting this BS card! I need it! My BS day is February 6th (the day my mom died). Now I have somewhere to write down all the thoughts screaming in my head on that day.
I hope your BS day goes quickly!
I’m sure all of us could relate to your post in some way and thank you so much for sharing your story, feelings, and BS day with us!
Ugh. I feel you pain. My BS day is November 24th. My dad was killed in a motorcycle accident (I was 16). Happened 2 days before Thanksgiving. Now, almost 8 years later, I’m finally getting on better terms with the holiday. Strangely, I now raise turkeys.
For a long time, I felt like I HAD to go to the cemetery, but it made me feel awful, I cried hysterically every time. I stopped going about 4 years ago. It made some family members really angry with me. Some times I feel like a bad daughter because of it. But then I remember my dad’s not there, I don’t need to go there to ‘talk’ to him, I can do a better job when I’m home on my farm or walking with my dog.
Also, have to add:
It’s BS that I hate weddings because I DON’T get a father daughter dance and because he CAN’T give me away
My BS days are July 26th and 27th. I have two because my Dad’s birthday is July 26 and he died at midnight on his 40th birthday. I was 11.
Thank you for this perspective, I lost my brother 13 years ago come September 3rd I usually let balloons go and write random things on them on his birthday (August 30th) so this will make for a great follow up to that. B/c man I can sure blaim a lot on him. Thank you!
JessicaRae!
Happened upon your blog yesterday – and I must say you are truly a remarkable young woman!!! I’m so sorry you lost your Dad so young. I lost my Dad three years ago when I was 44 (I just totally gave my age away
!!) and miss him every day. I’m so grateful we were in a good place because with the added years came added baggage. Love your sense of humor, your creativity, your honesty and your realness!! Keep smiling and don’t let ‘em get you down!! Laura
for me when i saw bs i thought of my father in law.he died feb of 2002 1 week before my birthday from cancer.he had cancer several times and thought he would beat it but it beat him.his favorite saying was bull sh.t.everything was bull sh.t.so bs to means this.i miss him so much.he never had a daughter only 2 boys and he treated me like i was his daughter..my husband is so much like him.my husband and his dad had some promblems because my husbands parents divorced and his dad was an alcholic.when i enter into the scene dad was able to have 1 drink and be done.dad did one thing no one other then my husband ever did.dad took the time to know my likes and dislikes.he new what i would eat and drink and never had to ask.dad new i loved chocolote milk and always made sure if i was visiting he had it.the last time we saw him.he was so frail and so sickly but because we surprised him he had no chocolote milk and his first words were i have no chocolate milk but i have milk and some syrup.i miss him so much.next yr i will defently celebrate bs day.thank you so much
Happy BS Day! I’m so sorry you lost your dad when you were so young. lost my woncderful husband New Year’s Eve 9 yrs ago, my BS Day. What you wrote was a good reminder for me to remember those days when I just can’t understand why I’m still here. Think I’ll try blaming him for things (the fence sections that fell down yesterday?); might keep him closer in another way. I like some of the other suggestions, too, like a note in a balloon. Going to do that! Thanks for a wonderful post. Your writing really uplifts me.
This sounds like a holiday I would turn into a weekend or weeklong celebration. I wonder what a BS ‘mantle’ would look like?
Seriously though, this has me in tears. My mom was killed five years ago and each year I hope that it will somehow suck less. It’s different than it was that first year but sucks more, just in a different way. My kids were 2 & 3mos so they don’t remember her and I’ve had another child since she died. My sister married and has two children of her own and plans to have more. It’s not fair. We still need them. I have family & good friends but what I wouldn’t give to talk to her again. I’m sorry for your loss and apologize for making your loss about mine. That wasn’t my intention. Just wanted to say that I understand and you aren’t alone.
My BS day is April 9th, my first husband died on that date. My first love. Yes I am remarried but that doesn’t change things in the fact that he is gone and he is missed. I am sorry for your lost.
I can so relate to this post. I’ve been a long time member of the “Dead Dad” club, since July 11, 1985 to be exact. I was 8 years old.
I think your BS Day is a great idea! Maybe something I will try. I would love to be able to get everything out that I’ve bottled up inside me!
It seems the grief never really goes away, we just get better at coping with it.
Thank you for your post and as someone who truly understands where you’re coming from, I am sorry for your loss.
Liz
How amazing. I have one of those every March 26th – which is the day my Mom died when I was 11. You are inspirational!
Thank you for sharing your life “challenges”. I’ve been going through some stressful times with my oldest son and your matter of fact humorous way of dealing with your experiences has helped me see things more clearly. You sound like an amazing person, the kind I would be friends with if we lived near each other. Although it can seem overused I will keep you in my prayers and look forward to hearing positive results on your blog.
Also without a dad…..died of pancreatic cancer. Cruel death after a lifetime of major health problems from head to toe. Just the luck of the draw….rest of his family very healthy. But I never looked at it as a tragedy since I was in my 30s. He got to meet my oldest daughter at least. Losing a parent as a child, as a spouse with young children….. I cannot imagine. My heart goes out to you.
Right about now, being recently separated, and having it finally hit me, I REALLY needed this BS day! Thank you for the permission!!!
My BS day is, unfortunately, December 25. It’s not a birthday or deathday, but it WAS my mom’s favorite holiday. She died in 1997, I was 26 and had a nearly 2 year old son. It sucked big time then and it still sucks big time now. I don’t believe you every get over losing a parent, no matter how old you are when they die. I DO believe, however, that you learn to deal with it better each year. There are still times when I think of something funny and want to run tell my mom. When I am having issues with my kids, I want my mom’s advice. Thanks for the holiday! Maybe one of these days, 12/25 will be a good day for me again.
I’m a follower of your blog and just wanted to tell you I feel for you! My mom died in 2004 and I get so mad at her sometimes that I just want to scream. I have needed her since then – I don’t know her recipes, I want her to say she is proud of me for finding someone that loves me like I deserve, my kids need their Mawmaw because PawPaw doesn’t have a clue!, and probably what makes me the maddest is that she hasn’t seen how my “perfect” sister has gone off the deep end with her mid-life crises! lol
You made me laugh and cry… My BS day is going to be April 21st (or at least that’s one of them)… It’s my parents anniversary (pretty sure that’s right)… My dad left my family when I was a teen saying he didn’t love us anymore. He is a douche and I wish my mom could find someone special instead she is alone. The other date will be undecided, but I have one in mind. Thanks for allowing me to fully call BS and blame my dad for a day! Haven’t seen or heard from him in like 3.5 years, and I think it’s bS he doesn’t want to get to know his awesome grand kids. His loss, anyways… I’ll do my full bs thing on 4/21, but I love it! Hugs~ Julie
Laura,
I’m so glad that I know you, although I was not happy to be a part of your Dead Dads Club. When you told me I was in the club I thought I want out. Thank you for sharing this post and card. I will be able to use it for my brother and dad. So sorry for you.
I love that you guys celebrate this. It’s too soon for me to celebrate…because I’m still too sad, but I will love a day like this when I’m ready.
Happy BS Day to you and your sibs!
THIS should be a national holiday. How do we make that happen? But as a national holiday, all the kids have to be in school for 12 hours while we get to do whatever the hell we want.
Wow. I think this year I will be having my own first BS day. My dad passed away last November. He died of organ failure in the end after spending weeks in the ICU almost bleeding out. All of this was due to him being an alcoholic. BS if I’ve every heard it. The kicker, my sister is getting married this summer, and she had really wanted him to be there to walk her down the isle BS. I’m currently having to deal with lawyers and crap because my dad’s finances were about as bad as they could possibly be. BS. I’ll stop there, but I think you get the idea. BS. Thanks for sharing.
Happy BS day a little late. I’m catching up on all my reading.
I’ll have to at least one BS day a month maybe too. March is a bitter sweet month for me. My daughter was born in March and my birthday is in March so that’s good but then my mother in law died on the 16th (5 years ago) and my closest friend on the 24th 91 yeare ago) and I could count my sister in laws mother who also passed March 21(1 year ago).
I love your outlook on life and how you embrace it.
Just read my own comment. My close friend died 1 year ago not 91.
Hi. So this makes me smile. I just lost my Dad. On March 13. As in a week ago. Thank you for this. And I am sorry about your Daddy.
I’m sorry we all have BS days. Reading them all was so sad. I just had to put may sweet dog down – I know! Some will say it’s just a dog but she was much more and all I had. Thanks for a way to vent. You’re so smart! I love your humor, honesty, humor, creativity, humor – got it? You ALWAYS make me laugh – and so many times laugh out loud! Take care of yourself. We’re all hanging in there with you.
I found your blog on Pinterest. Thank you! March 19 is my BS Day. It is the day my beloved sister was killed by a distracted truck driver. I join you in your anger at the BS that life dishes out sometimes. Be blessed. My condolences.
February 25th is my BS day. And just like you, I blame my sister (who died 11 years ago) for lots of things that go wrong. And just like you, I find that a lot of people feel that I am being too cynical. I did a HUGE meltdown this year (she would have been 30 come June) and then I put on my sarcasm hat and blogged. BIG HUGS to you, and my condolences and heart go out to you on this rough day.
Thank you Natasha. I totally understand the breakdowns. They come at such weird and totally random times. I do find that humor is the best medicine though. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Well lovely. I get to join the “dead dad’s club” too. Nice. And my BS day gets to be Valentine’s Day. You’re words are awesome. You are awesome. Ever since I met ya ages ago, I’ve known that LARA.IS.AWESOME. Carry on sista. You’re changing lives and touching hearts all over the place. (including mine)
Valentines Day? GAH! I think it’s even worse when it’s on a holiday. But just so you know I have determined that people in the dead dad club are hilarious. So…..if that’s any consolation.
But really, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know your family is super close. You are in my prayers.