In my room I have a full size mirror. I use it to see my whole outfit all together. Making sure that I’ve chosen the right shoes and the proper amount of bling. (No…this isn’t my mirror. Mine is one of those super cheapy kind that you buy at Walmart and put up with velcro strips)
Admittedly, I spend an embarrassing amount of time talking to myself in my head. Regardless of clothes, weight, or day. I pretty much submit myself to a Mean Girls moment:
(PS….this is pretty much one of my favorite movies of all times. And I can quote most of it. If you haven’t seen it…let me know. I’ll act it out for you)
Lots of time I expect to see this girl in the mirror. After all…I worked a long time to make her. I passed up an awful lot of frosting to make her materialize. And I freakin’ yelled “Dig Deeper” at Shaun T more times than I care to admit. (that’s an “Insanity” reference….for those of you who have not tried to die during working out)
Unfortunately, THIS is the girl that is now meeting my gaze. And geez….if you thought I Mean Girl-ed myself before….now….well….it’s just sad. It’s a girl 60 pounds heavier….missing one sassy haircut….minus some good bling…and plus at least 3 chins.
And it’s a bugger.
Stinkin’ reflection.
It’s difficult to look at her and not want to let her know how MUCH she disappoints me.
The other day I was delightfully reminded, by my dear friend Megan from Brassy Apple, of the series I did at the first of this year..called One Word, One Goal. It was a challenge to define your “picture” for the upcoming year in just one word. Really, if you haven’t had a chance go back and look at the uplifting entries that were made during that time, you totally should.
My word was Refine.
And MAAAANNNN…What I had in mind absolutely has NOTHING to do with what is actually going on in my life. In fact, when Megan reminded me about this series, I thought, “Oh yeah! That word choice was jacked-up!!! I haven’t been able to refine anything. Like, my blog’s falling apart…my life’s falling apart…my health’s falling apart…MY BUM HAS LITERALLY FALLEN APART!”
If it’s already falling apart…it’s pretty damn hard to “refine” it.
Then I went back and looked up the definition for my “word”…
Re-fine: To improve or perfect by polishing.
HOLY CRAP! Right?
I think maybe I didn’t even have a clue when I picked it. I thought it would mean “don’t have so many hobbies and pay better attention to your kids.” When in fact it meant….”how ’bout you get put on a stick and roasted in a kiln, just to see if you can come out shiny on the other side.”
Look, my reflection is what it is. I can eat a little better. But not a lot of fat is getting burned while I lay in bed. I try to do my hair…but honestly….bed head is harder to combat than fat thighs. My medicine makes me see triple, so the glasses are here to stay for now.
I think I’m gonna benefit A LOT more from a different kind of reflection.
The inner kind.
That kind that helps the part of me that really matters.
The kind that burns a little..but then makes you come out shiny on the other side.
I LOVE this quote from Buddha:
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love & affection.
~Buddha
Isn’t that so hard to remember? It’s nearly impossible to feel that way about myself. (I’m gonna work on that one.)
The blessing I’ve had to spend quiet moments alone: no interruptions, no electronics, no distractions. I am just able to “reflect”, to think. I have lots of ideas about how I want to become a better person. To improve my reflection. And then I found this quote:
Those who live only for themselves,
eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives.
While those who lose themselves in service to others
grow and flourish—
and in effect save their lives.
~Thomas S. Monson
Pretty boldly telling me that I can live a very fulfilled life, if I start living outside my little “reflection”, and focus exclusively on loving and serving other people. Each day I am taught by those around me how to lovingly live outside that exterior reflection.
People will stop by, people who have never been to my home. (And then they offer me a free vacuuming for my carpet.) I kid. I kid. People will send packages. Companies will send items. People will leave a note, send an e-mail, write on my FB wall. And it means so MUCH to me.
Honestly it’s not the items so much as it is the realization that I’ve been “seen”. That someone loved me enough to take their time and share it with me. Even stuck in my bed, I have lots of time. Lots.
Hopefully without seeming like I’m telling YOU what to do with your time….let me just put this out there. There is as much time in each day as there always has been. And we fill it with lots of stuff. STUFF.
I filled a whole day with Tabatha’s Salon Takeover a couple weeks ago. Same 24 hours I’m always given. Gone. Probably not spent in a meaningful way. (however…dudes….if your salon is failing…have I got a solution for you!)
Even if I spend my time “thinking” about people I care about or am worried about…is that really serving them in ANY way? I could have written a “thinking of you” on their Facebook Wall or text “I sure love being your friend!” THEN they’d know, and it may help brighten their reflection for that day.
All I know….KNOW FOR SURE….(thank you O!) Is how much I value this amazing quote:
“I have been driven many times to my knees
by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere to go.
My own wisdom,
and that of all about me,
seemed insufficient for the day.”
~Abraham Lincoln
Today I needed to know that my reflection needs to be refined and re-defined.
That I cannot find happiness unless I serve, love, and cherish others.
And that I needed to write this post.
And who am I to question the super hot fire that has set it’s sights on refining me? I know Adele enjoys setting “Fire to the Rain”…but I’d rather not use that technique. It seems dangerous, and rather impossible.
Oh my dear girl! I love you inside and out and think you are a gem no matter what! I am sorry life is so hard for you right now but I love how you are trying your best to stay positive and what a good reminder of “refine” – I think everyone has something they can refine. I wish you all the best health vibes I can send over {lots of hugs}
Perhaps my dear Scarlet, one of your biggest talents is staring you right in the face…YOU, Yourself and YOU!!!. While bearing your inner most thoughts and feelings to us about YOUR insecurities and difficulties in life right now you are inevitably and ultimately changing the lives of those of us who follow you. You are a gift! You have a way with words that seems to speak to all of us. Perhaps all this “time” you have been “given” to “refine your lovely self” is simply a way for you to continue to teach others with your amazing insights! Love your guts! And I will still love your guts even if you have on your glasses and your hair is poofy!
Can I just second what Amy said? ‘Cause I second it. Big time. Also, your post somehow coincided with dust falling in my eye and I got all teary. Almost couldn’t finish reading it. I love you.
Oh dear sweet lady.. You are beautiful inside and out. I wish I had your thick head of hair, mine is so thin. I feel like a 70 year old bald lady. Picture it! So be proud of your puffy hair, it can always be wet and styled. Next time you get a hair cut you can send me some and I will glue it on. It will make me look like I had it frosted since mine is gray. Ha-Ha. When do you go for your next doctors appointment? Do I need to start the prayer chain now? I love to read your blog and look each day to see what funny thing you had to say. I feel guilty because your blog makes me laugh and I can’t do anything for you since I live in Ohio but you are in our prayers everynight. God blesss and continue with that beautiful smile.
You write so well and with such style. Your posts are by turns funny, awe-inspiring, humbling, sweet, thoughtful
… thanks for continuing to share.
you are gorgeous inside and out! many of us can stand to be reminded about serving others, cherishing others, loving each other
thank you
I needed to read this today. I needed it like I need air or water or sunshine. You are made of awesome, and I thank you for sharing it. And if one of your main goals is to lift others up, mission accomplished, woman. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Sweetie, your blog will still be here later when you’re feeling better. Hair products and cute accessories and those Insanity workouts will all still be here. Life has handed you a VERY hard thing to do right now and it’s taking all your energy…and that’s okay. The refiner’s fire is a tough place to be! You’re still beautiful. You still matter. Take good care of yourself!
I’m so glad that you blog. You’re so insightful, and reading your posts makes me feel inspired. Lately they’ve been leaving me in tears. Thank you for what you do.
I agree with all the comments. I look forward to your posts, you are insightful and funny, a great combo. Thanks for sharing, sending you prayers. Also, I feel you with the wasted tv time…I have recently introduced my young daughters to the magic that is “Full House” and we have gone a little overboard with it. Have Mercy!
I LOVE your blog! You remind me of what is really important. Thank you for helping
me be a better me.
You know what? You’re rocking that bed head and glasses, and even more importantly, you are rocking that attitude! I pretty much say what Amy says, except she says it better than me so I’ll just say “Ditto”. xoxo
I just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you! I’m always getting my day brightened by stopping in and reading your posts! You are such an encouragement to others and I pray that you find the encouragement you need from other’s right now! You are SUCH a beautiful person inside and out! God Bless! Keep smiling! Love from Missouri!!
Great post. I needed to hear it. I really loved the quotes that you found. You have a great way of writing and putting things into a bigger picture. It is definitely a talent. I sure love ya!
Dear Lara,
If I was closer I would jump in your bed, give you a hug, watch Mean Girls with you { for me a first }, drink a Diet Coke together { I could have one of those right now }, and then I would l tell you : THANK YOU for making my life better. THANK YOU for being YOU.
Since I am not close you can skip the first four steps {darn it } but please believe me when I say: THANK YOU for making my life better and THANK YOU for being YOU.
♥
Oh my sweet sweet sweet friend. I adore you. YOU are one of a kind. YOU are a blessing in my life and the lives of so many people you don’t even know. YOU are making a difference in the world. YOU are amazing. YOU are inspiring and funny and smart and wonderful. Thank you for being YOU. Hang in there. I love you and am thinking of you!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoo
I love you and this post! The End!!
This was a great post, I enjoyed reading it. Definitely some food for thought, we all have those moments where we don’t necessarily like our reflection and need to choose to change/refocus/refine.
I just finished reading through your whole post (yes, all of it, no, I don’t usually read through whole blog entries) and was really touched. I have also had life crap dumped on me when my dad was suddenly admitted to the hospital last October and passed away there in November. I was living my happy little life the way I wanted it, and it all got turned on it’s head. Now I can’t even imagine what you’ve already gone through and continue to go through every day. But even if you feel that in bed blogging your reach isn’t very far, I’ll have to disagree with you. Your real life tell-all posts are extremely inspiring both on a personal level and on a blogging level. As bloggers I think we all want to show to the world how perfect our houses are (because we compare them with everyone else’s home photos-it’s really no different than comparing our body images to pictures in magazines) but I feel that your very real posts remind us why we do what we do. It really makes me think of that quote ‘don’t compare your behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel’. Very true, hard not to do! So now that my comment is long and rambley, I guess my point is, thanks for having the courage to share your behind the scenes footage. Take care *hugs*
I got serious allergies whilst reading this post. I am so sorry you have to go through this trial. I am always so impressed with your strength and courage and sense of humor, and ability to try and find the positive. Thanks for sharing! I hope things can get better soon for you1 Love ya
Do you know what’s best about you? I love that you don’t have to have sassy, fun, amazingly awesome hair to be that sassy, fun, amazingly awesome person that you are. You are just you and that is AMAZING!
Very thought provoking and insightful. Thanks for putting it all out there!
I really love reading your posts! With all that you have going on, you take the time to write to us and make us stop & think for several moments. This post, in particular, struck me and is something that I needed to “hear” right at this time. (Have you been occupying space in my brain recently?!?) Fall & Winter are the perfect times to gather and reflect! Take all the time you need and when you have decided that you are refined and re-defined, please share the revelations with us!!!
You are amazing! I really love your blog. This is such a great post. We all need to remember to take time to love ourselves. Thank you for sharing!
You are beautiful. It is a shame that we can be our own worst critic. You are doing the best you can and that shouldbe enough. I have had a lot of stress in my life this past year for very different reasons and I constantly have to remind myself that God does not give us anything we cant handle. It will get bettrr
This morning I wasa purusing through Pinterest and connected onto a link that connected with a link (and on and on) that sent me to your blog. I loved the name…Less Cake More Frosting. It sounds like me–I only put up with eating the cake so that I can enjoy the frosting. I expected to find a site with wonderful recipes and cooking hints. Instead I found something better. Thanks for sharing your world and your heart It was a real treat to get to meet with you over coffee this morning. Hope we can do it again sometime.
I had to skim some parts of this post, not because I didn’t like it, but because it sounded too familiar.
I really LOVED this post. And I REALLY LOVE your blog. Thanks so much. Honestly, reading this was a blessing for me today.