Hi dedicated LCMF readers. It sure seems like it’s been a long time since we talked. (and it has…I’m sorry)
In April we had the SNAP! Conference. I went last year...kinda as I was just getting really sick. I WAAAAAAY over did it. But I still had a great time, got to teach a class, and do TONS of stuff for the conference. Seriously, it was like crack to me. I die for that kind of thing.
This year, hubs put the foot down. And hard! He made me call sweet Tauni (who is over the conference) and tell her that I would not be there for anything but opening registration and my class. It was a phone call I dreaded for weeks. And when I hung up….I cried for an hour.
So I did get to go for registration. There was no soft chairs to be had. I stood for 4 hours. (a record…) I think these are the only photos taken of me.
I’m up there on the VERY top row…..you can barely see me!
After that 4 hours….I had to come home. I missed the parties, and the speakers and everything. But I did get to put on my pink shirt and turquoise zebra striped Toms. And that made me feel really great.
The next day I got to speak on a panel about branding. You may not know this….but it’s a SUPER big passion of mine. I do logo design and business branding consulting through my design business Announced Design. As tired as I was….I couldn’t pass up this chance to share my passion. I got the most boring topic, the technical stuff. But I love helping people learn that stuff. I taught myself. And I think anyone can learn.
That night I BEGGED the hubs to reconsider and let me stay overnight. And I think (to avoid a divorce) he said yes.
But after standing for our class and sitting for dinner. I KNEW….I just knew I had made a mistake.
Why am I sharing all this with you?
Well, there’s a BIG lesson I am trying to learn. I used to sing a song about it back when I started taking voice lessons.
“I can’t do everything. I know because I’ve tried. I told myself I could. And then found out I lied”
I’ve finally (after a year of fighting it) decided that if I can’t blog. I just can’t. It used to weigh so heavy on my mind. And now I’ve decided it will come back when I can bring it back. Even though I have a million projects and ideas in my mind…it’s probably more important to heal. And when I have energy, it’s probably more important to draw with my 6 year old. Or help my 10 year old with his homework. They both are struggling through this as much as I am. They haven’t had a real Mommy for a year now.
But even more than that…
I learned that people care about me. I got so many hugs. People freaked out that I was there. Even if it was just for a few hours. Girls left to take me home. (girls that I love, and adore) I realized that I might not be forgotten. My pageviews, any revenue, my status as a blogger….they are all superficial. And one day I can fix them.
Life is about family. And super great friends.
- I had the opportunity to let some tears flow. (sorry if you were on the receiving end of those)
- I got some amazing pep talks.
- I laughed ’til my whole body hurt. (which just required a little extra percocet)
- I met people who were willing to share their struggles with me.
- I saw old friends who gave me soft hugs
- I never carried my own luggage. Because someone always took it for me.
- I got to share my passions…and meet new people in the process.
We can’t do everything peeps. If you’re in bed. If you’re preggers. If you’re working. If you’re raising kids. If you’re in school. If you are living….you can’t do everything. And good friends will be supportive of that. Because that’s what friends do. They love you just the way you are. Shortcomings and everything.
And when I learned, a few weeks ago that my healing is not going as planned (and we’re heading back to Phoenix for more testing and possible surgery #5) After family….I just wanted to talk to my friends. They let me whine over Skype. And they told me how much they love me. That’s all I needed to feel peace again.
When I came home…there was a marathon of The Golden Girls running. I kinda love that show. In High School we used to pretend we would be the Golden Girls one day. Only I had to be Dorothy, because my Mom is single and I’d have to bring her along to be Sophia. (I wanted to be Blanche…obvs. tee hee)
So to all the amazing people at SNAP!, to my amazing friends and family, and to all my loyal readers that have waited a year with me…
“Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant. And if you threw a party. Invited everyone you knew. You would see…..the biggest gift would be from me. And the card attached would say “thank you for being a friend“